Our Ignorance And Denial Are Killing Us

Our Ignorance and Denial is Killing Us

It is the gravest misconception that asking will make it worse

This year marks 20 years since my sweet, funny, dearly-loved uncle died.

Feels like yesterday. Feels like a lifetime ago.

I can’t not smile remembering his laugh. And it’s hard to think of him laughing without thinking of Dad at the same time. To me they looked quite different, but I could also see their uncanny resemblance, and how it was that he and Dad were always mistaken for one another.

They told the same jokes and finished each other’s sentences. I think I felt close to Uncle Michael by virtue of his closeness to Dad. He used to call me Jelly Bean King – Dad called me Jellybean when I was a baby and it stuck for a good while, Uncle Michael embellished it so that with Billie Jean King tennis champion and household name back then, Jelly Bean King it was. Only he called me that.

His death was unexpected, incomprehensible, shocking.

I have always said that if I had to write a list of 50 ways he might have died that day, it would not have occurred to me to include suicide.

Yet how can that be – how could such a common cause of death not occur to me? Read more…

How to Feel Better Without Seeing a Counsellor or Therapist

 Reduce Stress and Anxiety with this Simple, Proven Method

How to Feel Better Without Seeing a Counsellor or Therapist

I had an unforgettable therapy session with a client some years ago.

This was a long-term client for whom seeing a counsellor, indeed the whole realm of emotions, was foreign.

He would sit upright and alert but always look at ease. He was never phased by his high-pressure executive responsibilities. He was just as smart and amiable as he looked.

His intermittent panic, anxiety and confusion would be a surprise to anyone — as much of a surprise as they were to himself.

Now he sat forward and peered at me as he recounted his weekend… Read more…

The Secret Weapon Guaranteed to Improve Your Mood and Stress Levels

The Secret Weapon Guaranteed to Improve Your Mood and Stress Levels

This is the single most effective intervention for people plagued with a host of negative stress outcomes. It is also the simplest and most accessible.

The downside is that it is one of those annoying things that we know is good for us but we don’t do it. Or we do it a bit sometimes.

So really the thing itself is no secret at all. What is secret is how damned effective it is.

Read more…

Trouble Relaxing? Here’s the Answer…Even if You’re Plagued with Stress and Tension

canstockphoto9717705 (1)

You can’t rid your life of stress.

You can perhaps reduce it and learn to better manage it. But in varying degrees, stress is here to stay.

Part of dealing with it is looking after your body. It cannot withstand being under pressure for prolonged periods. You know your own body’s telltale signs of too much stress. Is it headaches? Heartburn? Constipation or irritable bowel? Bung neck or back?

Read more…